So often we start off the new year with resolutions about what we’re going to do new this year. Most of it involves trying to do the “anti” of much of what we did wrong in the year before. I thought I would take a different approach and begin the year reflecting on what I did right in 2013 so that I could be sure to bring those successes and celebrations into 2014.
I’ve compiled a list of 15 things that I did in 2013 that worked and really changed my life
1. Stopped comparing myself to others
It is said that “comparison is the thief of joy.” No matter how much I strived to be like someone that I thought was better than me, I was never satisfied or good enough. By constantly focusing on what I thought I lacked, rather than what I already had, I kept myself in state of frequent disappointment and negativity. So, I’ve decided that I’m only going to measure myself against myself.
2. Created a vision and a life map for my life
Being the self-professed “queen of planning”, I was notorious for planning my entire day before I even got out of bed, planning my career, planning my finances, etc, but I had never really created a full VISION and PLAN for my life! One of the greatest things that I did for myself this year was to create what I call my Flourishing Life map. It outlines what my priorities are for my life, who the important people are in my life & how I want to be remembered by them, what type of legacy I want to leave and what action steps I need to take to get to my envisioned future. It has really helped me to stay focused and motivated.
3. Said no to things that didn’t align with my vision
One of the benefits of creating a vision and plan for my life was that I was better able to manage my time and commitments. In the past I have always felt guilty about saying “no” to good things. While being in the midst of being severely overscheduled, out of balance, and stressed out, I had a dear mentor say to me “there is a difference between a good thing and a God thing.” Now that I am armed with a clear vision for God’s purpose and plan for my life, I can say “no” with more ease to things that don’t align with the life I am creating.
4. I did it afraid
This also ties in to #2 above. Once I was clear on the actions that I needed to take, I had to actually do them! For so long, I have let fear hold me back from even enjoying simple things. But this was the year that I determined that I was not going to be imprisoned by fear. So, I determined to do it (whatever “it” was) afraid. And what did I learn? Action breeds confidence! So I will continue to take courageous steps when I’m willing instead of waiting until I’m ready and unafraid.
5. Learned to be ok just “being”
While we are called human beings, we are frequently humans doing. I am the most guilty. I spent much of my life defining myself by what I did and feeling the need to do more and more. In January of 2013, I had my third ankle surgery. The recovery took much longer than anticipated and I spend 6 months “non-weight bearing.” For the first 4 months, I was bed/couch ridden. During those long days of “doing” nothing I gain a lot of peace and insight around the value of just “being.”
6. Prioritized dating my husband
My life is a little bit crazy at times, especially this year – being an elementary school principal, consulting for a non-profit, speaking at women’s events, life coaching, raising two girls, adopting a 12 year old boy, serving in my church, co-running an entertainment company with my husband, and being a police officers wife. PHEW!! With all of that it is easy to let the urgent supersede the important. This year, I have made it a priority to date my husband on a weekly basis. You know what they say, “happy husband, happy home!”
7. Made healthy friendships
I have always struggled with deep relationships, especially with women. I tend to be an introvert; I have had a lot of issues with trust and lack of confidence in the past. None of these factors lend themselves to forming good friendships. This year I really stretched myself to connect with other women and form solid, healthy, and fun friendships. This led to my hosting a really amazing women’s bible study in my home this year. AWESOME!
8. Increased my time in prayer and in bible reading/study
This really could have been number one, as I believe it has been the ONE THING that has led to the greatest gains in my life this year. Focusing on deepening my relationship with God and making a greater commitment to pray for others has been life transforming!
9. Invested in a life & business coach
Though I am a certified life coach myself, investing in my own personal and professional growth has truly helped to accelerate reaching my goals this year. My coaches have stretched me, pulled me, supported me, held me accountable, and helped me to see the best within myself.
10. Practiced gratitude
Sometime during the year, I came across the book, One Thousand Gifts. The basic premise is that if we identify 3 things each day that we are grateful for, we will have acknowledged over 1000 gifts by the end of the year. Taking time each day to list what I am thankful for has helped shaped my daily perspective, has created a more positive outlook, and has overall helped make me a more reflective and appreciative person.
11. Spent more time doing things that I enjoyed
With my crazy busy life, I often felt like I couldn’t take time for myself – that it was selfish. This year, I decided not only was I worth me taking care of me, but by making my fulfillment a priority, it allowed me to be able to serve others better – an empty well cannot fill anyone’s bucket!
12. Stopped taking things so personally
One of the Four Agreements is to not take anything personally. This required a lot of work for me. I am a very sensitive person and have often felt responsible for other people’s words, emotions and actions. When I finally realized that what comes out of another person is more a reflection of who and where they are, than of me, I was freer to be me!
13. Started a daily morning routine
I began following blogger and productivity leader, Michael Hyatt (who I highly recommend). In one of his blog posts, he talked about the value of having daily routines. Each day I now start with bible reading, prayer, devotion and (usually) exercise. Since starting my day focusing on my mental, spiritual, and physical health, I have become more productive, more focused, more joy-filled, and healthier.
14. Ate the frog first thing in the morning
If you start your day by eating a frog, everything else you do that day seems like a breeze! So, when I put together my “to do” list for the day, I start with the most challenging or “least loved” task. Once I get that out of the way, I feel extremely successful and the rest of the day feels much easier because I’m not focused on that “dreaded thing” that I still need to get done.
15. Got out of my own way
Sometimes we are our own worst critic and own biggest obstacle. In addition to being the planning queen, I am also the queen of over-analyzing. Many projects have died due to paralysis of over-analysis. I have taken more risks this year, gotten further out of my comfort zone, and not let me “stinking thinking” hold me back. By taking bigger leaps of faith, I have enjoyed an incredibly blessed year.
Now it’s your turn. I’d love to know what things YOU did right in 2013!!
I love it, Ilesha! I absolutely agree with #6. After years of being told to do it, we finally began dating weekly, and it deepened our marriage so much. Great job! Love the list!
Lei, isn’t it amazing that we can hear something over and over and know it will benefit us, yet never take action?? SHEESH! I’m working on taking action sooner!
Hi Great post.
I am a year behind but I will a very similar one this December.
I did Number 9 but did not take action and I don’t think I’ve been grateful enough and number 12 is my number One priority.
I am so glad that 2013 went so well for you, even when you had to cope with a lot of changes and happenings (especially No 5). I am sharing this post in FB to read it in the future year and I hope I write a similar one in January 2015
I wish you Happy New Year and Well done for being YOU
Hi Liliana (what a great name!), Thanks for sharing the post. Be sure to find me in December when you write your own!
Loved this list of things you did right. Congrats. I am going to take a few of your examples as my own. I need to work on #12 and #15 particularly. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Lauren, Those two #12 & #15, were probably the hardest for me, especially #12! Wishing you all the best in the new year!
Some great achievements. I also am working on a life-plan. Good luck
Thanks, Tim. The life planning has been remarkable. Let me know if you are looking for a template to use.
“While we are called human beings, we are frequently humans doing.” What a great line, and a wonderful reminder to be more mindful and in the moment. Also, when I first read the “ate the frog” part, I thought you meant it literally! Haha
Hi Sonya! I have been truly working on being mindful in the moment. The surgery definitely forced the issue. As far as eating frogs – not for me, not even the legs! LOL
I’ve tried ’em, and they were good, but you know what’s also good? Food that didn’t grow up in a pond! Haha 🙂
Reading through your post was almost like looking in a mirror. Some of the details are a little different, and you are ahead in taking control, but as I read through your list I kept thinking, “I could have written this!”
What a great way to kick off a new year!!!
Carrie Ann! thanks for stopping by. I appreciate the reflection. As I venture out more into the world and share more of myself, I realize we are all more alike than we think. It’s comforting to know I am not going it alone!