This is my husband. As is obvious, he’s a black man. What isn’t obvious is that he’s also a police officer.
I know some of you saw this picture – black man in front of a graffiti wall & already thought you knew everything you needed to know about him. Others of you were cool until you read he was a cop, then you made up your mind that you knew everything you needed to know about him.
That’s because you have fallen into the trap of the singular story. You hear a particular narrative about a group of people & that’s how you define everyone in that group (black men, officers, Muslims, gays, Christians, Syrians, republicans, democrats…)
When we do this it absolves us of the responsibility of treating others as our brothers & sisters. It allows us to neglect to see others in their humanity & instead to disregard them as “other”.
But I want to rob you of the protection & bias of the singular story.
This is my husband – both Black & Blue. And this is his story. . . He’s the child of immigrants who came to America to seek a better life. He believes in serving his nation and his community. He’s a veteran of war. He’s a husband & a father.
Yesterday, he got up & drove me to my speaking engagement, went to work out & then came back to pick me up. (I secretly think he likes being my chauffeur). Then he took the cars out to get washed, bought a few groceries & threw some meat on the grill for dinner. After that, he went out & supported a few of his fellow brothers in ministry & music.
This morning, he got up early & went to a men’s prayer meeting. He came back, had breakfast with me, emptied his wallet of all cash so the littlest could go to the fair, checked in with the oldest & then we headed to church. After church, we sat at the coffee shop & talked about our hopes, dreams & goals for the future.
Tomorrow morning, we’ll pray. He’ll put on his vest, his badge, & his belt. I’ll kiss him goodbye, tell him to be safe & pray again that he comes back through the door at the end of the day.
He’ll spend the day, as he’s spent every work day for the last 15 years – protecting & serving; being a light; working to be the change; loving his community & giving his all to make it safe for those who live there. He’ll counsel some, pray with others, issue some stern warnings, write some tickets, caution a few youth, take someone to jail, mourn with those who mourn & rejoice with those who are rejoicing.
And if God says the same, he’ll return to us at the end of the day.
This is his story. This is our story. We don’t get to choose sides – at times under attack both in and out of uniform. This is our life – more than just hashtags, more than just labels. More than a singular story.
So the next time you reduce a black man or an officer to just a hashtag or you feel like if he (black or blue) lost his life that “he got what he deserved” or “he should have just” or “what do you expect”, I want you to remember there’s more to him than the singular story.
Our humanity demands that we take the time to examine our bias, take action to change the narrative, engage in meaningful dialogue, fight for social justice (not against each other) & demonstrate a greater measure of love.
Are you up to the challenge?
#BlackAndBlue
#DividedWeFail
#LoveMore
#BeTheChange
#CocoSpeaks