My name is Ilesha. No, not Alisha. Not Iesha. Not Alyssa. Not Ileesha. It’s ILESHA. E-LAY-SHA. Forget it, call me COCO.

And so it began . . . my losing of my name, and in part, myself.

——————————————————————————————-

People always ask me, “where did CoCo come from?”. Well today I’m spilling the tea and reintroducing you to my new website – www.IleshaGraham.com

Coco was just easier, simpler, didn’t require people to think or actually hear what I was saying. And because I always struggled with believing that my words were worth hearing, becoming COCO made sense. It was just easier.

And then there was my middle school English teacher. (Older, White, Female.) On the first day of school, in front of the entire class, she stood over me and decisively announced that my mother spelled my name wrong, because “clearly if your mother wanted your name to be pronounced E-LAY-SHA she should have spelled it differently!”

My top-of-her-high-school, Cal Berkeley and St. Mary’s educated, life-time credential holding, pupil personnel services certified educator of a mother didn’t know how to spell my name. I never got the chance to explain its Yoruba origin or its meaning or the great pride that it brought to its people. So, I traded COCO for my heritage. It was just easier to navigate in an institution that didn’t value difference. (There is so much more I can and will say about how educators mess up kids of color, but that’s a different post)

Fast forward to adulthood. (By the way, why at every conference, seminar, training, meet and greet do we have to wear these doggone nametags??? If another person butchers my name!! I mean really, do you see a “J” in the spelling? How did you come up with that pronunciation? But I digress . . .)

Adulting is hard. Stepping out into purpose and calling . . . even harder. When God first nudged (ok, shoved) me into sharing my story – my real, raw, unfiltered, “I started from the bottom” story – I wondered what my professional colleagues and community would think of me. Would I still be accepted or would people only see me as the poor, homeless, single parent, living on government assistance chick? I had already been told that I only got my principal position because of “affirmative action” (Older. White. Male.), so god-forbid folks know the dirty dirty.

So, I emerged on the speaking circuit as COCO. So while COCO speaks, Ilesha hides from her past . . . for a really long time. Because it was just easier.

It has taken me a long time to regain, accept, embrace and love my name, my heritage, my history, my story, MYSELF.

And today, on the celebration of my introduction to this world, I’d like to reintroduce MYSELF.

My name is ILESHA, pronounced E-LAY-SHA. If it helps you to remember, think of ELATION. That feeling you have when you are finally fully FREE. Practice it until you get it right because it means something. ILESHA speaks to, and embodies, all that I am, all that I have lived, all that I have learned, and all that I have yet to be.

Want a glimpse inside? Then let me also introduce you to www.IleshaGraham.com (while you’re here, take a look around and come back often!)

(I’m going to go LIVE talking more about this on my Facebook.com/cocospeaks page. Head over, like it and turn on notification. Then I’ll see you around 5 pm PST tonight)