I want to be a hypocrite. No. Really, I do.  You see, it’s so much easier to talk the talk without really having to walk the walk. Isn’t it? Now, don’t get all judgmental on me. I know there have been times when you’ve wanted to be a hypocrite, too. We all have. It’s so much easier to just say we are a certain way, or that we believe a certain thing, or that we are going to do a certain thing. It’s a lot harder to actually be, believe, and do it.

 

 

I have been speaking on issues of faith for quite a number of years. I talk about trusting God in the hard times, about believing the truth of God’s Word, and how God is always with us no matter what our circumstances look like. I have counseled and coached people through tough times, always encouraging them to have faith. I share faith-enhancing verses all the time on my Facebook page.

 

And in all of this, I thought that I was truly walking the walk. I have undeterred faith in God. I know that He is able to do more than we can ask or imagine. I have confident trust that everything is going to work out for the good. I believe that He is able to make a way when there is no way.

 

Or do I? Because it’s easy to say I trust in God when I don’t really have to.

 

I can say that I have faith that God will supply all of my needs when I’m earning a 6 figure salary. But do I have that same faith when I’m not earning any salary? I can say that I have confident trust that God will strengthen me and guide me in my parenting when my children are easy-going and well-behaved. But do I still trust Him to equip me for the job when I’m trying to be an insta-mom to a 13 yr old who comes from a hard place? I can say that I believe that God is my Healer and can do anything. But do I still believe that as I prepare for my 4th surgery from the same injury? I can say that I believe that God is working everything out for my good when everything is going good. But do I still believe that God is at work on my behalf when everything seems to be falling apart?

 

Progressively over the past six months, the rubber has been meeting the road. HARD. What I thought would be, is not. What I thought would never be, is.  My faith, my trust, and my foundation have been tested and tried like never before.  There have been (many) moments when I have felt abandoned, scared, bitter, angry, and frustrated. One day recently, in the middle of one of my “pity-party” prayers, I cried out to God, “This is too hard. I can’t handle being stretched this far.  Just let me by a hypocrite. I want to be a  HYPOCRITE!” Because it’s so much easier to just talk about having faith and to encourage others to have faith. But it’s really hard to truly walk by faith – to release control and completely trust God with every. area. of. my. life.

 

When I finished my tantrum and just sat still before Him, I felt His love wash over me. And I acknowledged that truth that God loves me too much to allow me to be a hypocrite. Because, deep down in my heart, I don’t really want to be one, either.  What I really want is to experience and know God at a deeper level – and not just in my head, but in my heart. I want the Word to be alive in me. I want to be authentic in my relationship with God. I want to encourage others from a place of truth.  I don’t want to be a talking billboard, I want to be a living sacrifice. I want my faith to be real, relentless and radical! So, I accept that this is my journey to that end.

 

Faith is defined as “the substance of those things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)  If I could see it and didn’t have to hope for it, then it wouldn’t be faith. So, today, while I still cannot see the things that I have been hoping for, I do have confident trust to believe that they are on the way. Today, I elevate God and His Word to a higher position in my life. Today, I choose to not be moved by my circumstances, but to instead be moved by God’s promises to me. Today, I celebrate that He who is in me, is greater than the situation that I am in. Today, I choose faith.

 

Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing. (James 1:2 – 4 Amplified)

 

If you are going through a storm and are struggling to have faith to trust God, I encourage you to meditate on these verses:

 

“God is within her; she will not fail; God will help her at break of day.” (Psalms 46:5)

 

“Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:19)

 

“For I know that thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

 

“Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure.” (Psalms 16:5)

 

“And theLord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

 

“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” (Isaiah 46:4)

 

“So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all the He has promised.” (Hebrews 10:35, 36)

 

Have you ever wanted to be a hypocrite instead of enduring a difficult situation? What was the outcome? Have you recently gone through a storm or a testing of your faith? What helped you to get through that season?